Yes, darling. Life sucks

Learning how to cope since 1982

26.2.18

on things I've lost along the way

Posted by SunOfYork |

Well, it might seem obvious to you, but I've never really allowed myself to linger and take my time to consider the things and people I've lost along the way. I'm usually more of a pragmatic woman, which means that whenever I feel blue, I need to do things to fight that condition. But I happen to be stuck in a moment of my life when all my past is coming to the surface, so I have no other option than deal with it.
You know, when it comes to the past, the thing is that memories are sneaky and have got shark teeth: they bite your heels just when you turn your back on them and kid yourself that you'll get away with it. They also come under different guise so they're virtually impossible to forecast. Mine, up to now, have had the shape of a scarf, a bet, rice with tomato sauce, a wrong decision, a car park in the middle of nowhere, a somersault, a song by some cheesy Italian singer sung at the top of your lungs, ten thousand coffees, a very very long conversation in a sunny morning of June, lentil soup, a concert, a star-shaped pendant and another star right above in the sky, a book next to a pillow, early morning and late night whatsapp messages, a floral dress you'll never be able to wear again, a lazy stroll along the arcades in Bologna, the taste of pizza made from scratch, me teaching modal verbs with some silly sketch, a hug in front of my place, raspberries as a dessert, a crazy drive on the highway at night, a weird house full of cats peeping through the windows, a laundry detergent, two big mistakes, oats porridge. Memories also sort of get a kick out of ambushing you, so there's no chance you'll ever know when they're going to hit you. It can literally happen any time: in the morning, while you're parking your car after driving your daughter to school or at night, by depriving you of your sleep or if you're so lucky to fall asleep, through such harrowing nightmares that you'd rather not sleep at all.
But still day follows night and, as someone said, after all tomorrow is another day. Let's see how it goes.

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